The causes of family conflicts
Of course, the main obstacle to family happiness and well-being is conflict in the family. The conflicts that arise in families — a frequent occurrence. Family, perhaps, is the kind of society where conflicts often arise. This is not a discovery. Where else among the people there are very close contacts? The causes of family conflicts should be sought in various aspects. The desire of freedom, an opinion alone is extremely difficult to compare with the habits, views, beliefs of others. Causing family conflict arises. These situations make friends and relatives each other people to move away from each other.
As mentioned above, the most common reasons of family conflicts are differences of opinion, beliefs, and desires. And people who don’t understand each other, as a result, almost always remain unconvinced. Incorrect result causes a lot of dissatisfaction and claims against each other. Fortunately, in most cases, the problem is regulated, however, sometimes make it can be extremely difficult. And to deal with it, you need to understand what are the common causes of family conflicts.
Find out the causes
Suffice it to recall the famous phrase of Leo Tolstoy that each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. And it is difficult to argue. The same goes for conflicts. Indeed, in every family conflict develops in your certain scenario. And if in the same family with their relatives it is possible to «negotiate,» compromise, in other family conflict for the same reason, can be a reason for this «cold» war. However, it is already known that conflict in families occur with a certain periodicity. Moreover, it is possible to allocate some stages of family life, in which there is maximum risk of conflict.
- The step of «grinding» (the couple are only starting to get used to each other, it is a preparatory step towards the formation of a full family).
- The birth of first child have not yet experienced moms and dads;
- Further, the birth of children;
- A child first goes to school;
- Adolescence of the child;
- The couple are entering a period of crisis of middle age;
- Wife retire.
The main causes of family conflicts occur at each of these stages listed above. It is in these periods there are situations that can be a real stress for the whole family. Every family goes through conflict on these stages. Here, only the severity and development of these conflicts in certain families occur in different ways.
The result of these quarrels and disputes, at best, tensions between the native people, but there can be some changes in marital status. The latter, in turn, may be due to:
- A breakup or divorce;
- A change of residence of one of the spouses;
- The departure of one of the spouses on a long trip in the long term.
Serious conflicts in the family may arise because one spouse will be required to travel abroad to relocate in connection with their position. But the most common reason is, perhaps, the emergence of complex financial situations in the family, the dismissal of one of the spouses with high-paying jobs, the need to limit yourself in that what previously was simply impossible to deny yourself.
Causes of family conflicts can be very diverse, but among them there are those which are most common. Of course, such conflicts are resolved much easier. However, it is not always possible to solve. Living a while «side by side», many family members often forget about the needs, desires, and needs of their loved ones. And those, in turn, begin to think about marital or family incompatibility arises from a situation of serious conflict that almost always ends with a change in marital status.
Children and adults
Children, especially teenagers, often can become sources of conflict. But the transitional age of the child at all times been a headache for both parents and all family members. Of course, the conflict of the parents and the child deserves a separate big topic. And yet not superfluous to recall that quarrels and clarify the relationship between spouses has on the child is extremely negative impact. This effect is especially dangerous for adolescents, as transitional child like never emotional to perceive such situations.
Young children who seemingly still do not understand, can really suffer from the conflict between their parents. The kid is very thin feels mood of their parents, and the sharp sounds and negative energy can cause tremendous harm to the health of a small child. Higher tones adults – a sign of danger for the child, he starts to cry, and to calm him down in these cases is very difficult.
But what if the cause of family conflict is the child his bad behavior or wrong beliefs. Of course, to blame the child for misdeeds is necessary. However, it should be done very wisely, in any case, no need to experiment and invent their own pedagogical approaches to the education of children. The main thing — remember that the worst for parents to mock, humiliate the child, to use physical violence and use profanity. And this is even more dangerous causes family conflicts, which can result in very serious consequences.
The child will better understand his father, if he will bring valid and correct arguments. The father is the model for the child. Willingly or unwillingly, but the children copy the behavior of their mothers and fathers as people from the neighborhood. Therefore, first and foremost, parents must look to their own conduct and lifestyle.
Where is the solution? Handle conflict
Now that understand the causes of conflict, it is necessary to understand how to avoid conflict in the family? So, in order to recover, during an argument, you must follow the following phased actions:
- The first step is to set the problem, discuss it with the whole family, thus you need to carefully watch their words and tone;
- In the case of «tense» situation and the emergence of quarrels, you need to take a break, after all the «cool» back to the topic of conversation and try to lead it is already the most relaxed;
- To the solution of problems must come all the family members involved in the conflict and not only its perpetrator or the victim, the decision must be agreed with the other people in the household;
- The conflict was 100% exhausted, you should immediately start implementing the decision, it is not necessary to proceed, otherwise all of the work can be done in vain.»
Family is the most important thing in the life of every person. And this should not be forgotten. And although the family is not today a priority (people in recent times are increasingly worried about money and building a career), but sooner or later everyone begins to seek the meaning of his life, and finds it in the family, of procreation, in a cozy hearth. Man with a family who can be called a happy man, and happiness, as usual, should be protected. Just need to learn how to solve family conflicts, and listen carefully to the requests of their loved ones.