Insecurity: causes and ways of overcoming
How successful people will be and what niche it will occupy in society, not so much depends on the existing stock of knowledge, formed abilities and skills, and not even to the level of development of cognitive sphere and the presence of certain personal qualities, and how he believes in himself. After all if the person constantly feels the lack of confidence in themselves and their own forces, he is moving away from the desired and lose the desire to achieve their goals.
The feeling of insecurity has a negative impact on all spheres of human life, preventing him to career development, in building interpersonal contacts and the family, and also contributes to the accumulation of negative emotions, which eventually leads to chronic stress and depression. In addition, the progression of such feelings can not only lead to a breach of the psychological health of the individual, but also contribute to the development of human chronic diseases (most often, insecure people are diagnosed with disorders of the cardiovascular and digestive systems, and neurological disease). Therefore, people who insecure, you should not neglect such a situation and to engage in self-development, to try to raise their self-esteem and love yourself, which will contribute to building confidence.
The interpretation of the definition of «self-doubt»
Before examining the peculiarities and causes feelings of uncertainty, first we need to analyze this definition, or rather, what this feeling he understands psychology. In fact, in psychological dictionaries is quite difficult to find a clear definition of insecurity. This is due to the fact that most psychological schools and directions of all their scientific effort put into the study of the inferiority complex and drawing on the features of this category tried to create a portrait of insecure person.
To try to interpret the concept of «uncertainty», you should understand what constitutes the human «self». So the certainty in psychology is understood as a mental state of the individual, during the stay in which one believes something the truth. As for confidence, it helps a person to make quick decisions and contributes to the manifestation of their activity, which is essential to the successful implementation of the targeted activities.
Of course insecurities will be described in the opposite way. Uncertainty (or lack of confidence) is also defined as the state of the psyche, but in this case the person already perceives the information as such, which for him is not true (this also applies to the characteristics and personality traits). As for attitude, then such a person is constantly doubt their own abilities, decisions and often does not own real data about their identity. A feeling of uncertainty as a mental state, which includes the following components: emotional, cognitive, behavioral, and mental (more details are described in the table).
Components of uncertainty
|Emotional||The feeling of fear, anxiety, irritability, nervousness|
|Cognitive (or mental)||The appearance of negative expectations, attitudes, inadequacy in relation to himself|
|Behavioral||The lack of social behaviours|
|Interpersonal (or social)||The difficulty in establishing contacts and difficulties in interpersonal communication|
Many psychologists argue that uncertainty is a consequence of previous bad experiences and formed of an inferiority complex. The concept of «inferiority complex» was proposed by Alfred Adler, which meant they expressed a person’s feelings (exaggerated) of weakness and failure. Similar feelings people have are based on present in them the feeling of self failure, which are characteristic of childhood and is considered one of the most important motivating force for personal development.
The feeling of inferiority is formed by the child, according to Adler, due to their small size and lack of power. Due to the fact that the child does not have sufficient knowledge about the world, he feels his weakness, inability and even frustration. If the child has a moderate sense of inferiority, it contributes to the development of his personality and is a good incentive for constructive achievements. But if the person is a deep awareness of their systems and «stuck» on them, it will lead to the emergence of various obstacles to personal growth and development. Naturally, people who have certain complexes, much more confident than those who feel happy and successful.
It should be noted that the complexes and insecurities go hand in hand, formed on the basis of human inferiority complex will necessarily develop self-doubt. But also those who are long time suffers from a lack of confidence in their own strength, over time, may develop an inferiority complex. Thus, the development of complexes of man and a sense of inferiority are interconnected and interdependent.
Self-doubt: when it is formed and how it manifests itself?
Despite the fact that the ideas of A. Adler an inferiority complex found worldwide recognition, it can be argued that all of the complexes and accordingly, the feeling of uncertainty is formed only in childhood. Insecurities a person may have formed at almost any stage of ontogenesis.
Of course, the underlying insecurity is laid in early and preschool childhood, thanks to the influence of parents and significant adults (for example parents can unconsciously raise a potential loser, saying to his kid that he didn’t touch anything and did not take, as it can to break something, to break or hurt himself). The fact is that for a child, especially school age, parents are an example for imitation (the child in the first place identificeret our parents and accept their model of behavior) and the ideal, therefore whatever emanates from them, in particular the criticism, the kid, is accepted as the only correct one. Therefore, parents should be very careful to exclude from his speech word «bad», «inept», «clumsy» etc, because it is impossible to assess the personality of the child, you need to characterize only his actions, deeds and behavior («you did wrong»).
The most sensitive period for formation of the child’s insecurity can be considered adolescence, when on the background of foreign clumsiness, the high importance of the opinions of peers and the most critical relationship to their mind, falls sharply self-esteem. Of course at this time it is more sensitive to comments and criticism (especially if it is about his appearance, manner of speaking and dress). Parents of children puberty should be very attentive to changes in the personality of their child and if they notice he pronounced complexes, in this case you should go to a psychologist and learn how to overcome uncertainty and increase self-esteem of a teenager.
With regard to early adolescence, now self-esteem must be enhanced (in comparison with podrostkovogo), but it also has its own characteristics. The fact that adolescence is actively formed value-semantic sphere and the end the most active period of moral and ethical development of the individual. At this time young people are characterized by a vivid manifestation of their beliefs, solid defending positions, ideas and commitment to excellence (idols and ideals), that’s why quite often you can hear them with phrases like «all this because of a youthful maximalism». The maximalism of the young men are sent not only around the world but also to themselves, and the differences are idealized representations of what they want to be, to what they are in reality, leads to self-doubt.
As they reach adulthood, the ways of forming of uncertainty, as well as its causes vary considerably, because now the person is influenced not only parents and friends but also all those around him – staff, management, family, acquaintances, strangers, the media and even the «global web».
Insecurity, like any mental state, reflected both in internal (mental) activity, and external responses (behavior, actions and activities). That a person may be formed to a sense of insecurity can say if:
- it depends on the opinions, actions and decisions of other people;
- seek to avoid responsibility (typical of internal locus of control);
- is passive and does not like to show initiative;
- may have fears associated with interpersonal contacts and relationships (fear of possible disapproval from others, avoids the evaluation of their actions, trying not to get into the center of events, eschews attention to the person and afraid to hear the rejection);
- characterized by a low level of self-esteem, so the claims;
- is not tendency to spontaneously manifest his desires and emotions;
- as a psychological defense include excessive self-confidence;
- he observed difficulties in defining the boundaries of communication and contacts (for example, a person difficult to refuse or to ask for something).
The most common causes of insecurity
Self-doubt, like any other human condition cannot arise without a cause. Therefore, in order to understand how to overcome his insecurities and how to develop the confidence need to understand what caused such a state.
In fact, the causes of insecurity may be hiding in the physiological and psychological characteristics of a person or to arise in the process of living in society. Among the best reasons worth noting:
- features of type of the nervous system;
- the so-called «genetic code» (a similar behavior has been observed in previous generations), but it should be noted here that this reason is the most controversial among psychologists, as many modern scholars claim that there is no inheritance, behavior is not only identity and imitation;
- copying the behaviours of adults at children’s age;
- especially the style of education in the family, and then in other social institutions;
- the influence of the social among the accepted of the rules and «cults» (especially affected by the propaganda «of stereotyped and stereotyped);
- the impact on the human psyche mass media (popularization not to stand out from the crowd, driving creativity and uniqueness of every individual by the demonstration of negative information and violence, contributing to the development of a sense of insecurity);
- destabilization of the economy in a particular state and the world as a whole (one feels the precariousness of his position);
- the presence of a negative past experience;
- «excellent pupil syndrome» (when a permanent inflated expectations from parents, friends, yourself, in the end, turns into inaction, not to make a mistake and not to disappoint important people).
It is also necessary to focus on the major mechanisms of formation of self-doubt (they are presented in the table).
Insecurity: the basic mechanisms of
|Follow others and identification in childhood||In childhood, a child unconsciously adopts the model of the behavior of adults, it identificeret with them and of course to imitate (therefore, if the parents are quite often the uncertainty, the child will do the same)|
|Learned helplessness||This mechanism is also active in childhood, when various external events and circumstances the child is not able to change. Thus is formed the trend is to do nothing and not to change. Quite often found in children raised in orphanages who were subjected to frequent punishment or, conversely, those who constantly justify and pampered|
|A negative evaluation by||The uncertainty can be formed as a steady education due to the fact that people may lose faith in the effectiveness of its actions and initiatives in the force constant of a negative assessment of their past attempts. Thus there is fixation of low self-esteem and insufficient level of claims, the man reduces his desires and cease to set ourselves ambitious goals|
How to overcome a hesitation or effective self-help
In order to answer the question of how to overcome insecurity, people need to first accept it and admit that such a feeling prevents him to successfully adapt to the environment and to live in harmony with other people. This is to ensure that all future actions aimed at the development of self-confidence, was effective, as the first step to overcoming any problems and difficulties is the knowledge of its existence and that this must be addressed.
So what methods of struggle with self-doubt work best and don’t need constant supervision of a specialist (psychologist or psychotherapist) for their implementation. Among the exercises and techniques aimed at increasing self-esteem and thus the formation of a higher level of confidence can be identified such equipment and rules:
- great help of autogenic training, auto suggestions (should be telling myself that everything will work out and to notice even small wins) and relaxation;
- you should try to remember the moment or situation when the person was confident in themselves and because of this he has made something of a success (even if this performance at the school concert);
- it is necessary to record and analyze all your fears that prevent a person to make decisions (is the fear of evaluation, rejection, condemnation, of failure, of inferiority and failure);
- strive to enhance their self-esteem (the need not only to see his shortcomings but to emphasize the existing advantages, in addition should as often as possible to praise yourself and say compliments, but also learn to accept them and from other people);
- we need to develop the habit to assert their opinion and make decisions;
- learn to take responsibility for their actions (forming external locus of control);
- try more often to come into contact and interpersonal interaction (to be able not only to Express their opinion, but to listen to someone else’s), but if a person is experiencing serious difficulties in communication, he should attend communication training;
- try to restrain from self-criticism and self-flagellation;
- you need to love yourself and respect;
- try to get rid of the habit to compare themselves with the ideals and idols;
- to set realistic goals and not to present yourself inadequately inflated requirements;
- you should have self-knowledge and self-development.
If a person fails to cope with the feeling of insecurity, then you should seek the advice of a psychologist or psychotherapist. They will be able to develop an individual program of correction, considering all the features of the personality and specific circumstances, which will help quickly and efficiently to provide the people confidence.