The problem of jealousy
Jealousy is a bad feeling. In modern society, for him alone to mentally condemn other people feel sorry for. It is known that to survive such a condition as jealousy is extremely harmful for the psyche and health in General. This feeling is able to completely destroy, to devastate the man, to make him a hostage of their own fears. In this paper, the problem of jealousy is to be considered from different angles, highlights aspects that contribute to its emergence and development, as well as recommendations on how to constructively get rid of it.
Causes of jealousy
Surely those who are suffering from a suffocating jealousy, anyway, thinks over the question, where does the roots of this discomfort? Sometimes it is so strong that it seems impossible to control it and manage it. But it’s actually a big mistake. To learn how to go through the pain in order to emerge victorious from a difficult situation.
Probably no one will argue with the fact that they have each. Probably not a man who fears nothing. Fears (conscious and subconscious) accompany us since childhood. Only some people eventually learn to cope with them, while others are forced to adapt to the circumstances, than a very limiting its own development and progress.
Jealousy is one of the most painful and unpleasant phenomena. Under the influence of jealousy people do bad things that hurt others, thereby increasing their pain and forcing yourself to suffer even more. This can be attributed to the fear of being abandoned by partner. While in this state, the person is hardly able to adequately assess the actions of others. Some even go to the fact that they are everywhere begin to seem non-existent novels of adultery. Jealousy in this case can not be avoided, as serious consequences. Most often, relationships can be completely destroyed.
Someone will say that jealousy is for the weak people who are too have a low opinion of self. And that’s the truth. It is the lack of confidence and fosters jealousy. Otherwise it would be impossible for the development in principle. What does a person who believes that love him? He constantly doubts and checks of the partner «strength». It often seems that his cheating even when seemingly there is no reason not to trust. The fact is that this man carries within himself a deep inner wound, which does not have the ability to heal themselves. He needs close supportive person, a friend to talk about all their sorrows. But due to lack of ability to trust such a person in a strange way pushes away anyone who tries to get close to her. In this case, jealousy destroys the person very much.
The need to control everything
This desire occurs more often in those who want to control others and has hidden leadership qualities. Jealousy becomes a connecting link between personal motives and the way to achieve them with the help of other people. A person, often shows jealousy, in fact, not the unfortunate victim. She wants to achieve absolute power, control and subjugate people. Of course, not everyone’s motives so explicit, but in any case, everyone has the desire to track the results of something. Jealousy is manifested as a sufficiently effective method for manipulation.
Manifestations of jealousy
As expressed jealousy? Sometimes people are so in a subtle way that none of the inner circle cannot and to think about the presence of jealousy. Meanwhile, it is the place to be. In order to recognize its symptoms, you need to know the basic components.
- Permanent discontent. This is the first signal that something is wrong. If you or your loved ones are driven by a constant desire to sort things out, so they are not so sincere. It is possible that in the heart at some point settled jealousy. She subjugated and made hostage to you and your family. Already broken relationships are hard to fix, but all the same really. You only need to realize what actually happens to you.
- A quarrel in a vacuum. Sometimes it is even difficult to determine how really serious his situation is. Misunderstandings happen at all, but when they go beyond, it becomes very difficult to exist together. The main reason for the constant bickering may be a trivial jealousy. Men cease to understand each other, when no longer be trusted. Differences that occur for no apparent reason can make things even more confusing for both partners, to introduce them into a state of inner emptiness, even hatred. Jealousy can’t be creative, she always destroys gradually erode people from the inside. Many people are concerned about how to get rid of jealousy, but they find themselves powerless to deal with this condition that completely subjugates emotions and feelings, does not live a full life.
- Provocation. It’s amazing, but where is the place to be jealousy, gradually lost dignity, respect for the partner. People who lost each other warm feelings, just can’t stay happy with each other. They give in on provocation of the partner and in no hurry to accuse him of all mortal sins. Jealousy gradually subdues them to himself, deprives of rest, a sense of self-esteem and self-sufficiency, they feel deeply unhappy.
- Tears and resentment. Especially clearly felt in the time of the development of jealousy. This condition leads to loneliness, to realize its imperfections and how unfair the world is. Resentful of the person I want to shout to the world about how her ugly cost. Such a person always secretly wants sympathy, but not always, gets it. Many people, especially women, are willing even to resort to tears in order to attract the attention of others. Jealousy becomes the motif of «play to the audience». It is worth noting that in everyday life these individuals are unlikely to be happy. Cultivating the images is impossible to achieve anything good.
- Suspicions of infidelity. Able to poison a man’s life like nothing else. And always suffer both partners: the one who is jealous, and the one who is subjected to charges. Jealousy in any case is very unpleasant and can not go to the benefit. The relationship is gradually undergoing significant changes and I have to say that not for the better. After all, if man is not to blame, to make excuses for him the same humiliation as the other partner know about the affair. Under the influence of jealousy, people often do things without thinking, regret.
Most often, it is due to the sense of ownership. The person who wants to feel important, but for some reason can’t implement it, makes a woman suffer. Jealousy prevents to build a normal, trusting relationship. A selfish attitude is formed mostly from the representatives of the stronger sex, who is extremely confident in his own abilities. He who does not love and does not value yourself, never be satisfied with the relationship with others. Men who expect complete submission of the woman, not able to hear it, to truly appreciate as a person. And in vain their companions appeal to the common sense, trying to prove something – to no avail. Jealousy covers their head, stopping to think, to feel, to see the situation from the inside. Such men treat their wives as property and forbid them to stay at work, watching every step. Different types of men in different ways manifest themselves in a situation of jealousy.
Unfortunately, these men were not so few in the world. They compensate for a feeling of inner emptiness that follow the partner, check their every move. And the thing is that somewhere deep inside they have put up with a tiny insignificant role in society, and do not want to change anything. Insecure men are afraid not so much betrayal, how much of that they recognize unnecessary. They often take on the role of «breadwinner» completely provides your mate, do so that she doesn’t need anything. The jealousy in them is permanent and appears from time to time, from case to case. Sometimes these people are too held back, some even prefer to suffer alone. But the essence remains the same: their experiences are sufficiently intense at the depth.
Men can be jealous, almost without reason or just because their girlfriend or wife smiled at a cute stranger on the street. The problem is only that they do not consider themselves sufficiently attractive and worthy of happiness.
«Believe in yourself
The word is taken in quotes because truly confident and happy person will not find reasons to spoil your life ridiculous suspicions of infidelity. The one who is really confident in myself, not will no doubt suffer in vain. In the case where the betrayal actually takes place, these people go with dignity. They do not live in illusions and do not invent additional experiences, which could have been avoided.
According to this category of men, jealousy is for weak people and losers. Do they themselves to this type of include not want, therefore, most proud of before their friends and companions, than expose themselves to jealousy.
These people can make him jealous is difficult because they are completely absorbed in the creative process. However, there are so impressionable nature for which recourse disorder is not worth anything. They can get out of balance just from the thought of possible betrayal, so the jealousy in varying degrees, accompanies them for many years. They sometimes may not know which way to turn their mood the next minute. I must admit, women is not so easy to coexist with such individuals, though they themselves are interesting people. Jealousy may be one-time events and, most of all, she is never unreasonable.
It should be noted that the jealousy of men increasingly focused on the external events and, to a lesser extent enhanced by speculation or doubt on the basis of reflection.
Women are mysterious and strange creatures. With them everything is much more complicated. Their feelings and mood depend on most of these factors cannot be foreseen in advance. Women more often than men thinking about how to cope with jealousy, and subjected to a complex analysis of their feelings. Below are the options that contribute to jealousy.
It is no secret that women are more attached to home than men. For them, the family, children are of paramount importance. Some women are so fixated on their relationship with the husband unreasonably jealous of his chosen every slight occasion. Jealousy destroys a marriage, questioned the years spent together and their value in a General sense.
When there is a strong attachment to marriage, man, woman, it is difficult to pay attention to herself, she is not committed to self-development and self-improvement, not building big plans for the future. All her dreams are centered around family – that’s where it is implemented, but, most of all, personal skills are underdeveloped. In this case, the woman’s individuality in a professional manner often does not manifest and does not receive implementation. Even if she is a housewife and work somewhere, it is unlikely that General.
Women who are most prone to jealousy, often suffer from various complexes. They feel that they are unworthy of happiness, joy, new achievements. Low self-esteem causes them to rely on the opinions of others, to seek support from strangers. In this case, the jealousy is manifested on the background of extreme insecurity. As the great achievements of these women in my life don’t have, focus on the partner they play a vital role. It as if they are trying to compensate for their lack of independence and lack of implementation. That’s why it’s so important to work on your own-esteem, not to allow to come the thought of insolvency.
Often women who don’t believe in yourself, it seems that they are impossible to love. They are dissatisfied with their figure, education, other parameters of beauty and success. To convince them is useless, as for the preservation of peace requires constant proofs. These women all get used to adapt to the man: his opinions, sentiments, habits and often do not have an opinion on any issue. Using the suspicion of infidelity they attract attention to their personality.
The desire to dominate the
This item refers to the outwardly confident women. They want to play the role of a successful and happy life, but they do not always succeed. Jealousy becomes a kind of assistant, which helps to establish control over the situation. These women want to be aware of everything that happens, they often even follow my own husband in order to see his guilt and show him the charges.
Powerful women really want a few. No one likes to be monitored, and the husband in particular. Although their wives and seek to know the innermost secrets, but this completely fails to do anyone. Each of us is an individual. One who categorically intervenes in the life of even the closest person, always up for it, paying dearly. Often the man for a long time in vain was suspected of adultery, in some point do is on cheating.
How to overcome jealousy?
Many really know how to deal with jealousy? Regardless of whether the jealousy is justified or contrived, it needs to be corrected. If this feeling does not work, it will eventually dominate the person will be deprived of his will, reason, common sense, confidence. At some point it will become difficult to control, and there is very serious trouble. What are the steps needed to make adult, Mature man to overcome himself? How to get rid of jealousy?
To recognize that feeling
This is the first step, without which perhaps no change. Until a man recognizes himself, he was jealous, no he will not be able to help. To come to such a realization, people often first have to pass a school of life: to meet a lot of disappointments, to experience different images, experience unrequited love, or really to face a cheating partner. But all that is necessary for the formation of a strong personality that can overcome obstacles and knows what she really wants.
How to get rid of jealousy if you hurting to even acknowledge its presence? The answer is simple and complicated at the same time: after all, force yourself to go through a moment of awareness and acceptance of their own negative feelings. Remember, there is nothing in the world that does not give in to correction that it would be impossible to fix. As a rule, the jealousy is by itself, when a person ceases to need it. What does it mean? We all are in varying degrees imperfect, so some people are willing to hide behind my feelings, like a shield. But this behavior does not lead to true development.
To grow a personality
Only those who are able to objectively assess your own personality, not become jealous of your partner. Such a person is too confident in himself and his usefulness. If a person works on himself, regularly engaged in self-education, he will simply have no time to think about how much he loves partner and no access to his love.
You should always know what you are and not allow others to hurt you. It’s pretty hard to do, especially if from childhood a person is accustomed to treachery and deceit. But when you have your own inner world, which is dominated by their own rules, it becomes much easier to cope with any difficulties.
How to find your personality? If you still don’t know what it is, it’s time to access your inner self. Consider how you could be a professional, what brings you the greatest satisfaction? Develop your talents and abilities, they will certainly lead you to success.
Learn to trust your partner
Without trust, no relationship in principle. Only when a person ceases to build internal barriers, she is able to unfold fully in relationship with another. You must always be mindful of the fact that the person is your mirror, a reflection, through which you can see yourself, with all the advantages and disadvantages.
Any strong relationship involves equality, respect and acceptance, not suspicion and accusations. If you find it difficult to trust a specific person, it makes sense to review your interaction with each other, to find bugs that do not allow both to develop.
Thus, jealousy is a destructive feeling. It specifies a bet, what everyone has to change and work on ourselves. However, any change should happen naturally, without any pressure. If you are concerned about how to get rid of jealousy, then you are already on a path of healing and moving towards a new life.