Addicted to love
There is no feeling stronger and more sublime than love. About love poets of ancient times composed poems, painters painted pictures dedicated to beautiful ladies. Sometimes people love so much that you do not notice that their affection for another person becomes obsessive condition goes beyond a comfortable attitude. Sometimes one sacrifices himself another, and he takes this gift for granted and not even consider it necessary to thank. This interaction can not be called harmonious, and the Union happy.
Love addiction occurs when the person does not understand his life without the presence of the partner with the aim of sincere service to him or her, while forgetting about yourself. That is, their needs are not only met, but even relegated to the second, third, tenth plan. Where there is love dependent, in fact there is no real love, as sad as it sounds. There is absolute self-sacrifice in favor of the whims of the partners, abandoning one’s own views, blurring the boundaries of individuality. Is it possible to determine the symptoms of the emergence of an unhealthy attachment? So, if you start to listen very carefully to your own feelings.
Addicted to love. Signs
Admittedly, these symptoms are not easy to find themselves, because strong love man forgets about himself. All his thoughts and desires concentrating on a favorite, which would like to take care of.
A conscious sacrifice
It should not be confused with when a person is so spiritually rich that is willing to give completely disinterested and this is just getting stronger. In this case, he not robbing himself, and gives up the excess heat, and tenderness. But such cases of unit. Real love is expressed in dependence of the situation of the victim: one of the partners so forget about how the other takes and uses his unselfishness.
All we deprive ourselves of, is not for the benefit of your loved one. The fact is that when we open ourselves from the latter, involuntarily begin to subconsciously expect is the same selfless behavior. But in most cases, these pairs partner doesn’t want to work hard to return. He was used only to receive, he is not willing to invest absolutely no effort. Such a Union will collapse sooner or later.
The rejection of his opinion
Often the one who takes over in the relations of burdens, a very low value on self. He does not notice its uniqueness, originality, does not set itself tasks for personal development. This man lives only to satisfy the needs of the partner develops and grows as an individual. If there are any contentious issues, it is likely the opinion he will hide away, and he will be guided by the desires of the second half. Needless to say that many of the features in this case are lost, just undiscovered?
Inability to defend their own position
Each of us has life goals, beliefs, values and motives. Addicted to love in a person suppresses any desire for individuality, subdues him and makes to serve false purposes which are not part of a particular individual. Here and tormented man, unable to understand your own misfortune. I must admit, one to deal with this problem is very difficult, almost impossible. Always need someone close who will tell you what exactly is error what is wrong, what beliefs need to change.
In the dispute, and if any discrepancies such people, often silent and adjusts to the opinion of his opponent. All because he first even in a relationship with the second half put themselves in a dependent position. In other words, he limited himself invented a framework that does not allow him to fully develop, to grow, to move forward.
Love addiction in itself is dangerous: it destroys a person, deprives her of freedom, life force, necessary for self-energy flow. This phenomenon has its own unpleasant consequences: life apathy, loss of interest to everything around him.
Addicted to love. Treatment
Love addiction can cause a lot of suffering of the individual. Added to them the constant feeling of emptiness and feelings of inferiority. Such people think that they themselves represent nothing. It is precisely because they whole flow of your energy is directed in the wrong direction. So, what steps need to be done in order to defeat this cruel disease? How to overcome yourself? How to abandon the destructive love? After all, forgetting yourself, you cannot fully give a loved one.
The awareness of having problems
This is the first step towards a conscious and happy life. Without him nothing will be impossible, no development. Make available the difficulty they have in some measure come close to its solution. You need to come to the realization that you’re not living right, love takes a last effort and gives nothing in return. In fact, this kind of dependence is no different from the alcoholic or the experienced smoker.
Of course, it’s bitter, frightening and offensive. Addicted to love is a tricky thing. From it will not get rid of. It will take time to work out the problem and to heal wounds. Can take years to complete, but the healing is worth it. When it comes to the feeling of liberation you’ll feel the new air flow, you will understand how much more you can do now than before.
Work with self esteem
As a rule, in the network of dependent relations of those who know little about themselves and valued as a person. Such people are sometimes not aware of existing enormous opportunities that are hidden behind the faces of «me». They think that by themselves they mean little, and so very attached to their partner to compensate for feelings of worthlessness and loneliness.
Low self-esteem needs to be leveled and improved. How to do it? It is best to enroll in a special training of personal growth, where today there are many. Find coach like and work on your problem until the full release. You can seek the assistance of a therapist.
The ability to refuse
Without this ability you will use other people. To be able to deny life it’s important to help those who need support. If you are uncomfortable saying «no» when they ask something, then you need to begin to train the will. Put a little extra effort in order to change the situation for the better.
To get rid of love addiction is not easy, but you need to be patient and act. Other way here. Every day you have to overcome yourself, to make new plans for your future. There will be victories and defeats. Most importantly, don’t stop and continue to move forward to the horizons of his personality.
Role in the relationship
Do you really want to spend my life on the sidelines? Are you satisfied with the position of the slave partner, which is controlled, whose opinion is considered, do not consider it?
For the sake of their own well-being, review its own role in the existing relationship. Think about what you would like to see yourself? You need to change something to work?
Position, when one is a grown man completely renounces his personality and build a life in obedience to the well-being partner, is called dependence. If you think that this confirms a lot of love, you are mistaken. Love, usually, and requires no sacrifice. This in itself is grace, given from above, which is given for two and makes people happy.
Acceptance of his individuality
Dependent people do not understand their own uniqueness, not aware of the significance that has his identity. It seems that he is one of many, has no special talents and aspirations. He just does not have the strength to look at himself and the world around you in new ways. This requires additional strength, but just the energy he was lacking.
First of all, you must love yourself. You’re the one, your life is filled with its own rules, objectives and procedures. You don’t have to build it in accordance with the wishes of the other person, even though it is a favorite. Stop trying to «feed» the partner of precious energy, which you lack yourself. Depriving your identity, you cannot be happy. It is a great illusion to think that you have to give them the best partner. You can give only what have.
Building prospects for the future
Sometimes it can take years to complete to finally change the mindset and quality of life. It should be noted, is quite hard. To say goodbye to the illusion is always difficult, painful and painful. At the moment it seems that life will not be anything bright and cheery. Allow yourself to live these experiences, give yourself time to recover.
When the soul becomes a little easier, you need to start making plans for the future life. Do not allow yourself to sour in inaction. Try to see all that you can, to learn to appreciate self. Then you will appreciate the other person for whom you will be important and necessary.
Thus, a love addiction is the most insidious disease, needs to be correct. To get rid of it quickly is impossible, there is need for systematic productive work, as well as a specialist psychologist who will tell you how to proceed in each individual case.
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