Funny riddles with answers for adults

Very funny riddles for adults with an unexpected answer. They are well suited for any company!

funny riddles for.

  1. By the evening dies, comes alive in the morning. (Alcoholic)
  2. 15 cm long, 7 cm wide and is very popular with the women? (Bill US$ 100)
  3. One hole takes the other gives. (ATM)
  4. That’s needles and pins crawl out from under the bench. For me, they stroked, they want milk. (Delirium tremens)
  5. Hundred odezhek all without fasteners. (Homeless in clothes from the trash)
  6. What is claustrophobic? (Fear Of Santa Claus)
  7. Take two hands, put my feet between… (Bike)
  8. In the autumn feeds, in the winter warms in the spring amuses, cools in the summer. (Vodka) author Shcherbakova Ksenia, Astrakhan
  9. Jump-jump from Bush.

    He is smart, likes cabbage. (Policeman)

  10. Some horse plows the land, and the hay not eating? (Stupid)
  11. What it is: the power lies, and the water is running? (Deputy put enema)
  12. What is the difference between the husband and the Director? (The Director knows his Deputy, and the husband is not.)
  13. What is 90-60-90? (Drive past the cops)
  14. As well you and me, I’m under you, and you me. (Hedgehog carries Apple)
  15. You cry – it is silent. You are silent – it’s screaming. (Wife)
  16. What is blue gold? (The wife drunk)
  17. Who is this man? (Vice-lover of the household)
  18. What country is the most armed? (Israel,… there all with shotguns go)
  19. Small, wrinkled, there is in every woman. (Highlight)
  20. Above the knee, below the navel, a hole such that you fit the hand. (Pocket)
  21. In a dark room on the white sheet to two hours of fun. (Cinema)
  22. What she first rubs near you and then demands money? (The conductor on the tram)
  23. Small, yellowish under the bed lies on the «Z» starts. (Penny. Why «C»? Set)
  24. Running pig, istykannyh back. (Corrida)
  25. Circle of hair in the middle of the sausage. (Corn)
  26. The Pope sits and watches in the ass. (The coachman) author Ogurtsov Alexander, Moscow.
  27. Not the rooster sings, not my grandfather, and grandmother has who that is? (Maksim Galkin)
  28. Four brother under the same roof are. (Mafia)
  29. Covered in flour and cock in hand. (Miller went to pee)
  30. Can a dog get a heart attack? (Maybe, if it is to create human conditions)
  31. What is it with horns, not a trolley? (Male neighbor)
  32. What it is: a little meat, a lot of wood. (Fly on the birch) what it is: a lot of meat, a little wood. (Pain in the ass)
  33. What it is: small, gray and weighs 3 pounds? (The mouse with the problem of excess weight)
  34. What to do with the blond in fifteen minutes? (On both sides of a sheet of paper to write the word «TURN»)
  35. Not lick, not rise,

    Will not rise — will not fit! (Thread the needle)

  36. Sometimes with dirty hands we dig it out of the pants, to hold the hole with your hair and hear the juicy sound. (Handkerchief)
  37. Lay, lay, Yes, in the river ran. (Resting on the beach to write wanted)
  38. The teeth have, and toothache don’t know. (Pensioners with false teeth)
  39. Two women at the fence: one glued, sewn the other… What they do?

    (The first to peel off the second – to unpick)

  40. What you need to do if you got in the car and his feet to the pedals do not get? (Seats on the driver’s seat…)
  41. Is the woman on the floor, opening your hole. (Oven)
  42. Where in a human soul? (Under the bladder. To empty and the soul becomes easier.)
  43. That means cross? (Pop on the nurse)
  44. What desire wants is to hear postupivshaya full woman? (Get well soon!)
  45. Why do goats eyes sad? (Because her husband is a dick)
  46. To the front stroke, back to licking. (Stamp)
  47. That, barely touching, turns into smoke wood? (Ensign, stealing firewood)
  48. Full Glivec white sheep. (A condom)
  49. We’re daring, lazimov gap in sex! (The twigs of the broom, cockroaches)
  50. Deftly jumping and eating carrots? (The jumper on the diet)
  51. All in white, mumbles and crawls. (Pianica bride)
  52. When a woman lifts a foot I see? Five letters, starts with P And ends. (Heel)
  53. With onions and eggs, but not a cake? (Robin Hood)
  54. Who on earth all the sweeter, all ruddy and whiter? (Fat)
  55. The grain which has passed fire, water and copper pipes. (Moonshine)
  56. What: two ends, two rings? (Gay wedding)
  57. I from grandfather left, and left my grandmother… (Sex)
  58. Rigid soft and dangling balls next? (Earrings)
  59. Smooth behind my balls. (Pan)
  60. The woman soon forty years, Jumping like a fool. Who will give the correct answer? Who is she? (Snow maiden)
  61. That an elephant is longer than the trunk? (Snot)
  62. Back quietly approached, two times stuck and went. (Slippers)
  63. How to catch a tiger in a cage? (Tiger in a cage is not the tiger stripe)
  64. Runs hedgehog on the lawn — dragged, laughing. Why laughing? (Weed pussy tickles) Runs a hedgehog on the lawn, crying. Why crying? (Grass mowed)
  65. How much to produce of action, to put the Hippo in the fridge?

    (Three. Open the fridge, put the Hippo and close the fridge) and how much you need to make steps to put a giraffe in a refrigerator? (Four: open the fridge, get the Hippo, put giraffe, close the fridge), and now imagine: staged relay race around the lake, involving hippopotamus, giraffe and turtle. Who will finish first? (Behemoth, because a giraffe is sitting in the fridge…)

  66. Which means black and white? (The toilet, which called for African.)
  67. Between his legs wobbling, «X» starts. (Tail)
  68. Of three letters is

    «X» begins

    When working worth

    When he comes in, bows. (Chorus)

  69. Who sings leaping so that the sun rises! (Chukcha)

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